have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
