Small penises have feelings too.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Alive.
So much puke
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
