i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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