Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
