i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
