wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
