That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
