Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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