everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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