Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
