he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
