Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Randomize
