we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
