we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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