just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Randomize
