But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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