Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Randomize
