put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
