I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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