1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Randomize