No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
