I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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