Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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