did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
