and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
it's great music for shaving your balls
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize