I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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