I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize