I feel like abortions should bother me more
You smell like stripper and shame
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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