Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Randomize
