try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
