Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
