In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
