I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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