ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
