I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
