She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize