It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
