dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
