3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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