I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
