remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
