He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
