I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
