I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
