I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize