I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
