i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
