Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
