I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
