I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
