I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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