Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
