if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
