So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
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