Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
