Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize