Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
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