She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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