So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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