There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
The Olympian is in my bed
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
