Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Randomize
