a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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