I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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