How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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